the end.

What a day. I've been solemn since this morning. I'm finding myself at a transitional position. It seems I'm almost always here. Changing from one thing to the next. Sometimes I yearn for a more steady and peaceful way of life, other times I thrive in the adventure of it all. The fact that I'm so contradictory in my feelings, to my dismay, is further proof that I'm one flawed individual. I thank God, for using me anyhow. :)

It is said that the end of a thing is better than its beginning. Well it's the end of another school year at my family's school on the island of Guam (est. 2008). If you'd ever watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (yes, I'm into it) you would remember the incredibly lengthy ending of the final film. Frodo has just been on this incredible journey, facing the greatest evil imaginable, and saving all of Middle Earth from it. He is FINALLY able to return to his beloved Shire, the only home he's really known, yet it somehow doesn't feel like home anymore. He looks so aged and worn from his experiences. Now, I'm not saying that this school year can really compare to all of that (despite some challenging times- haha!), but it seems that some experiences age you on the inside, just like that.

I feel like I've grown so much and that I'm not the same person I was, even just a year ago. I've been humbled. I realize now that I know nothing, except the truths we see in God's written word, the Bible, of course. Yes, some speculation is enough to drive one crazy. Only God can discern thoughts and intents of the hearts of men and I think I'll leave that job to Him. He knows what to do with that information anyway.

At the end of a big adventure, a life-changing experience, there are always mixed emotions. I guess, in the midst of all the crazy transitions going on right now (the school moving to a new location, the family moving into the new school location, and trying to figure out where I fit in the mix of things this next school year), I'm searching for some kind of security to clutch onto. I found it tonight, in Christ. He's been my faithful friend. How do I know He cares personally about me? Not only is Psalm 139 so assuring of the fact, but I know because He has answered prayers I've only dared whisper in my heart. He's given me a peace that surpasses understanding. He's been good to those I love. He's been good to me.

I thank the Lord for a good year. I thank Him for using my family to doing something so cool; to be a part of His kingdom, and share in the honor of building it. Lord help us.

you've got one shot

"You've only got one shot to live this life," I told myself this morning. Now 22 may sound young to you, but not to me. "Time flies," older people have said. Oh, it's true. The days are passing by more quickly than I can keep up with.

We just got cable in our house, much to my dismay, with the exception of access to T.C.M. (Turner Classic Movies- oh yeah!). I haven't watched hardly any T.V. for years now. Last night I had a home alone to catch up on what's on the tube. Boy, and what I've been missing out on! Ai adai. Anyhoo, The Last Holiday was on. A movie about a woman who has been responsible all her life, saved and invested her monies, and always taken the safe and secure route. She finds out that she has two weeks to live, and on that news, she has a good cry and then decides to take all of her money and live it up before she has to go. Later in the movie, after she's lived the adventurous lifestyle she had always been afraid to live, there's a point in which she looks in the mirror and says to herself that next go around, things are going to be different, that she's going to live more like she had been those two weeks.

Well, it got me to thinking, that I have but one life to live on this earth. After I die, or the Lord comes back first, things won't be the same down here at all. I've only got one shot at this situation. I'd hate to make it to the end of my course here and wonder what I did for the Lord; what I did that was of worth. Even now I look back and I can see time in my life wasted on frivolous things. I desperately want to hear a "job well done, my faithful daughter." That would be rapturous.

No Reserves

No Retreat

No Regrets

                                 -William Borden

Reclaiming Ground

Never did I think that I would be a missionary. My passion is discipleship, not evangelism. Though I suppose missionary work can be a mixture of both.

My family's goal is to change lives through education- evangelism and discipleship through education. Too long has the enemy used this area to lead children astray. This is ground that needs to be reclaimed for the glory and purposes of the Lord. Time is short, but I'm determined to worry about nothing, pray about everything, and get busy.

I am not super talented, or even particularly smart, but the Lord has blessed me with some things and I'm willing to use them to further His purposes. I wish not to be ignorant of these various things, but rather a good steward.

I do know that what God has blessed me with is not merely for my joy or comfort, but for His glory. And glory be to God, for He has given me much.

So here I've come to Guam, and my family is now starting from scratch and working on the foundation of something I hope the Lord will richly bless.

All your prayers are much appreciated :)

Shine on,

Abby