Delight in Me, Beloved

the end.

2011-05-14T05:10:00.000-07:00

What a day. I've been solemn since this morning. I'm finding myself at a transitional position. It seems I'm almost always here. Changing from one thing to the next. Sometimes I yearn for a more steady and peaceful way of life, other times I thrive in the adventure of it all. The fact that I'm so contradictory in my feelings, to my dismay, is further proof that I'm one flawed individual. I thank God, for using me anyhow. :)

It is said that the end of a thing is better than its beginning. Well it's the end of another school year at my family's school on the island of Guam (est. 2008). If you'd ever watched the Lord of the Rings trilogy (yes, I'm into it) you would remember the incredibly lengthy ending of the final film. Frodo has just been on this incredible journey, facing the greatest evil imaginable, and saving all of Middle Earth from it. He is FINALLY able to return to his beloved Shire, the only home he's really known, yet it somehow doesn't feel like home anymore. He looks so aged and worn from his experiences. Now, I'm not saying that this school year can really compare to all of that (despite some challenging times- haha!), but it seems that some experiences age you on the inside, just like that.

I feel like I've grown so much and that I'm not the same person I was, even just a year ago. I've been humbled. I realize now that I know nothing, except the truths we see in God's written word, the Bible, of course. Yes, some speculation is enough to drive one crazy. Only God can discern thoughts and intents of the hearts of men and I think I'll leave that job to Him. He knows what to do with that information anyway.

At the end of a big adventure, a life-changing experience, there are always mixed emotions. I guess, in the midst of all the crazy transitions going on right now (the school moving to a new location, the family moving into the new school location, and trying to figure out where I fit in the mix of things this next school year), I'm searching for some kind of security to clutch onto. I found it tonight, in Christ. He's been my faithful friend. How do I know He cares personally about me? Not only is Psalm 139 so assuring of the fact, but I know because He has answered prayers I've only dared whisper in my heart. He's given me a peace that surpasses understanding. He's been good to those I love. He's been good to me.

I thank the Lord for a good year. I thank Him for using my family to doing something so cool; to be a part of His kingdom, and share in the honor of building it. Lord help us.

you've got one shot

2011-02-25T14:54:00.000-08:00

"You've only got one shot to live this life," I told myself this morning. Now 22 may sound young to you, but not to me. "Time flies," older people have said. Oh, it's true. The days are passing by more quickly than I can keep up with.

We just got cable in our house, much to my dismay, with the exception of access to T.C.M. (Turner Classic Movies- oh yeah!). I haven't watched hardly any T.V. for years now. Last night I had a home alone to catch up on what's on the tube. Boy, and what I've been missing out on! Ai adai. Anyhoo, The Last Holiday was on. A movie about a woman who has been responsible all her life, saved and invested her monies, and always taken the safe and secure route. She finds out that she has two weeks to live, and on that news, she has a good cry and then decides to take all of her money and live it up before she has to go. Later in the movie, after she's lived the adventurous lifestyle she had always been afraid to live, there's a point in which she looks in the mirror and says to herself that next go around, things are going to be different, that she's going to live more like she had been those two weeks.

Well, it got me to thinking, that I have but one life to live on this earth. After I die, or the Lord comes back first, things won't be the same down here at all. I've only got one shot at this situation. I'd hate to make it to the end of my course here and wonder what I did for the Lord; what I did that was of worth. Even now I look back and I can see time in my life wasted on frivolous things. I desperately want to hear a "job well done, my faithful daughter." That would be rapturous.

No Reserves

No Retreat

No Regrets

-William Borden

leap, says he

2009-01-01T02:35:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I head to the place I spent the first half of the school year to teach an all new class of little minds with big thoughts. I am so amazed at how open and receptive children are- how they rely on you for so much. They will do something, right or wrong, and then turn to read your face- will your affirm or correct what they've just done? They rely on you for their basic needs- food, health, teaching, loving, correcting, etc. What a lot of trust they put in you- it's almost complete.

I'm reminded of the time when I was a little girl trying to learn how to ride a bike with the help of my Dad. How much comfort I had when he held on to the bike seat as I peddled. I felt I wouldn't fall, that I was safe. But as soon as I felt him let go I would yell out in fear, "Daddy!"

How brave we can be when we know that someone is holding on to the bicycle seat. I heard an analogy of trapeze artists that really put things in perspective for me. When considering a trapeze artist, would he do such stunts if he didn't have a safety net? No, he would be more cautious. But knowing that there's a safety net beneath him enables him to try all kinds of amazing stunts! I think that's what God has been trying to tell me, but like some of my students, I can be hard of hearing. He tells me, "Leap my dear, I will catch you should you fall. Don't be afraid."

I'm glad I have a patient Teacher :)

-Abigail

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and He will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Psalm 37:5-6

fly against the wind

2008-11-15T15:47:00.000-08:00

The world says:

"Get it all now!"

The Body of Christ says:

"Give it all now, get it all later."

Almost Speechless

2008-11-03T02:40:00.000-08:00

So today I found myself feeling pretty down, as it was officially my last day at the school. I did not for a moment expect a surprise "going away party" to be given in my honor! Around lunch time, I was obviously being stalled and was not allowed to go outside into the breezeway. When finally permitted to go, I found the kindergarten and 1st Grade students, along with all the teachers, waiting for me! The Kindergarten students had made an adorable banner decorated with hearts, hands, and sweet messages. My 1st Grade class came running at me with cards they made, and then I was given a bag of goodies from my co-laborers and treated with a delicious lunch! Aww!

And that's not all! This afternoon I received, not one, but two packages with my name on them! In the first I opened, I found colorful real Fall leaves, accompanied with some pictures of the beautiful Georgia mountains in fiery colors (the answer to a promise by a dear).

The other, I found a box full of some of my favorite things and notes from dear friends! Wow, how encouraging! So much goodness in one day, what can I say? I am a girl truly blessed :)

So thankful,

Abigail

as the curtain closes

2008-11-02T01:55:00.000-07:00

My time serving as a 1st Grade teacher comes to an end, and I find it hard to put into words all that I've learned.

Before being offered the position, I had been praying for an opportunity to work with children, as I haven't had much experience with kids in general. Wow! Did the Lord answer my prayer. About a month after arriving on Guam, I was offered the position of a "Learning to Read" supervisor, which means that I would teach a special segment of the students' 1st Grade year focusing primarily on learning to read. It's been 3 months, and now the program has ended, and my focus is to be shifted completely to my parents' school and my own individual studies.

Quotes:

"Mom- I mean oops! Hehe! Why do we keep calling you mom?" - Student, E.C. "Because you're good to us?" -Student, S.O. (How sweet is this!)
"I love you!" -Student, D.N.
"You read a word!" -Me
"You're a good teacher." -Student, S.O.
"Teacher, you look pretty." 3-year-old, N.LG.

Memories:

My students surrounding and literally sniffing me while I giggle and try to escape the mob

Carpooling with Ms. Esther while jammin' to Kirk Franklin on the way to and from work

The shyest girl in class, out of the blue, tackling me with a hug

Eating lunch one-on-one with each of my students

Playing "explorers" outside

S.H. drawing a picture of a heart, pointing to it, then to E.C, then E.C. pointing and telling on him, saying, "Teacher! He loves me!"

S.H. catching bugs and lizards almost at every recess!

Field trip to the bowling alley on Base

D.N. praying to receive the Lord as his personal Savior

Lessons:

Kids have a pure sense of justice and will hold you to your word
Kids remember almost everything
When working with little ones, patience is not only a virtue, it's a necessity!
Plan, plan, plan ahead!
Don't be afraid to improvise :)
Be flexible
Persevere
Pray
Love!

What a beautiful chapter that has now closed!

-Abigail

Absentee Voting by E-mail

2008-10-26T02:55:00.000-07:00

I'm amazed that it's possible!

Update:

So, this didn't work, and i'm too late :( :( :(

Quote of the Month

2008-10-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

Dialogue between Ms. Abigail, 1st Grade Teacher, and an inquisitive student:

"[Class] we don't have school on Monday because it's a holiday."

"Yeah, it's when George Washington founded America."

"Actually it's when Christopher Columbus found America."

"Christopher Columbus? Oh. How did America get lost?"

teach me gratefulness

2008-09-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

Over the course of the last 5 or 6 years, I have been stripped of many things materialistic and superficial. My family had been prosperous and wealthy, living in beautiful homes, driving luxury cars, and running in influential circles. That has since changed.

For me personally, it has been quite the journey, and one that I am still undergoing. Last year I experienced being separated from my family for a whole year. As I interned with TeenPact, my parents were serving overseas on Guam (a U.S. protectorate located between Hawaii and the Philippines). Now I have rejoined them. It is a joy to be back with them and go through this adventure together. I see a difference in them since when we were separated. Of course both I and them have had so many experiences (life-changing), and it's hard to explain all that we've learned to each other while we were separated.

One area in which we've all grown is that of gratefulness. This reminds me of a prayer of Maria in the movie The Sound of Music: when Maria prayed over dinner her first night with Von Trapp family, she prayed something to the extent of, "For that we are about to partake, may the Lord make us truly thankful." What a prayer! I don't know why anyone would pray such a thing, for what you are inviting into your life is a time of want. The best way to grow in thankfulness is to do without, and who wants to go through that? I sure don't, but here I am, in a state that a nightstand and paper towels are a luxury.

I have no reason to complain (I have all that I need), though to be frank, it's not the kind of lifestyle I'm used to. What a lesson in humility.

Another thing to Lord has taken away from me for a time in something rather superficial. At my place of work, makeup and jewelry are not allowed. Now, to guys, I'm sure you think, "big deal." But to a girl it sort of is. Especially if you're used to wearing these things everyday. And though I like to keep my adornment on the modest side anyway, it is still a big change! One doesn't realize until they have to do without. So, during the week I look like Miss Little House on the Prairie. Last night I was asking the Lord a common question from myself to Him- "Why?" I know it is for growth, and I have an idea of where He's getting at. Arg, growing in character is no fun.

The Lord is my Teacher, and I trust Him. This time is for His purposes and glory. If only I were a saint, and didn't find myself wondering why or praying for certain things (challenging times) to be taken from me. I'm glad the Lord loves and is patient with imperfect people.

-Abigail

let us persevere

2008-09-12T01:10:00.000-07:00

"We shall reap, if we faint not." Galatians 6:9b

This is my new scripture and aim for the school year. It's been about a month since I first became a schoolteacher to six students, teaching them how to read. On the whole, my students are good kids, but they are indeed kids. And kids often get bored, unmotivated, and sometimes hard to manage.

I have one in particular that tends to give me trouble. He is bright and creative, but he craves attention and will do anything to get it. He often doesn't listen and becomes unmotivated to do what he's asked to do. Together with his parents, I'm going to work in this area with him. "We shall reap, if we faint not." I'm holding on to that promise.

Isn't it funny how the Lord works? Just recently a good friend of mine was encouraging me with Galatians 6:9 (and to be honest, I didn't really want to listen, but rather pout), and just today it came up again in today's class Bible story (from my teachers manual). Do you think the Lord is trying to show me something?

I accuse my students of not listening, and here I've found myself to be doing the same thing. Silly girl. This job requires much patience, understanding and wisdom, and an abundance of love. All of which I am incapable of offering within myself. Thank the Lord who is able to work through imperfect vessels :)

Hooray, it's the weekend. Time to refresh and re-evaluate.

-Abigail

2008-09-02T00:53:00.000-07:00

So, it's week four serving as a teacher (k-5/1st grade) here on Guam, and goodness, I'm falling in love with my kids. Just today, little Ethan sat beside me on a bench, pulled my arm around himself, and laced his fingers in mine. He's about four, very quiet, and loves individualized attention.

Each child is all his own! When I first started in this position, I couldn't help but wish I had a manual to go along with each student. Hm, I laugh now as I think of the personalities and peculiarities of each child. I now have a deeper respect for moms and teachers, as this job is not easy! But it's well worth it. Lord, thank you.

What a beautiful sight tonight!

Love,

Abigail

where's the pot of gold?

2008-08-28T04:19:00.000-07:00

so i suddenly and randomly got the urge to walk outside for no reason at all this afternoon, only to find myself staring at a rainbow which i could see from end to end! and i have to say, someone must have seen it before me because the pot of gold was already gone! but i've never seen a rainbow quite like that before (a half circle of colors right before my eyes). then the rain began to fall heavily and my rainbow disappeared. amazing the timing, hm? what can i say about the One who posseses my heart? :)

so here is a picture of a rainbow here on Guam (not the one i saw today, but isn't it wild?).

-abigail

Getting Ready for School!

2008-08-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

So it begins! My family spent the bulk of our weekend prepping for our first day of school tomorrow!

The Lord has provided a really nice space for us in an office complex with a pretty neat view! What a sky right? He's also provided desks, chairs, and computers at no cost to us! God is so good.

rain on the front yard

2008-08-17T05:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know why it perplexes me so that here it can rain on the front yard and not the back, or vice versa. But nevertheless, several days ago as I saw rain heavily falling on our front yard, it reminded me that I have gone too long without posting :)

So, the update:

We are starting the school this year! We have about 7 students at present and school starts on the 25th. Praise the lord for providing an affordable and quality space!

Also, I've accepted a position with a nearby school for this school year as a teacher (I'll be teaching kids to read!). My students are bright and eager, so I'm excited about the year.

In other news, God is good and always faithful to provide for everything that we need.

I'd like to give a more thorough update soon on all that has been happening, but alas I'll have to wait until I have more time to spare.

In love,

Abigail

Rain in the Back Yard

2008-07-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

seems like i was just talking to a friend about the crazy rain patterns here on Guam- how it could rain on your neighbor's house and your house could be completely dry. as i sat on the hood of the car underneath the carport tonight, i noticed rain softly falling on our backyard.

i had decided to sit outside and think, as there is so much to think about. it was nice to have some quieter time to just be still and listen for a change. it's sometimes hard to find privacy here as the houses here are so close together in my neighborhood. you can either look at it as not having any privacy, or belonging to a close knit community :) however close the houses might be (with the noise of people hanging out and simply living), it was unusually peaceful and quiet tonight. quite refreshing.

random thoughts...
-Dad's been working very hard and has been seeking the Lord about possibly opening a school this year
-Mom is holding teacher and administrator training for school staff from different schools of the island
-we've found two possible locations for a school
-an opportunity has presented itself to hold a youth home group at our house
-our house is feeling more like home. "home is where the heart is" i've often heard, and if your heart is with the ones you love, i guess it doesn't really matter where in the world you are as long as you're together.

enjoying the calm before the storm,

abigail

Reclaiming Ground

2008-07-16T16:12:00.000-07:00

Never did I think that I would be a missionary. My passion is discipleship, not evangelism. Though I suppose missionary work can be a mixture of both.

My family's goal is to change lives through education- evangelism and discipleship through education. Too long has the enemy used this area to lead children astray. This is ground that needs to be reclaimed for the glory and purposes of the Lord. Time is short, but I'm determined to worry about nothing, pray about everything, and get busy.

I am not super talented, or even particularly smart, but the Lord has blessed me with some things and I'm willing to use them to further His purposes. I wish not to be ignorant of these various things, but rather a good steward.

I do know that what God has blessed me with is not merely for my joy or comfort, but for His glory. And glory be to God, for He has given me much.

So here I've come to Guam, and my family is now starting from scratch and working on the foundation of something I hope the Lord will richly bless.

All your prayers are much appreciated :)

Shine on,

Abby

experiencing island culture

2008-07-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

there is a certain hospitality that the islanders here posses. lacking in nothing but the charm of the southern accents of my home state (Georgia), these lovely people know how to make you feel welcome. i attended my first church service since arriving on the island yesterday at TouchPoint church. i received many greetings of "welcome to Guam!" and was given some delicious mini-bananas, as well as a fresh papaya which i enjoyed this morning at breakfast. just a note: don't eat the seeds!

driving through the streets of Guam, you'll notice graffiti on buildings and bus stations: expressions of the youth here. though i've never been to California, i imagine that the pop culture of Guam is much the same as that of the West Coast in the mainland. a lot of status is linked to one's car and surfing apparel/sort of hip-hop is the trend. now that doesn't go for everyone. you also have your more traditional island flair, something which i would guess is similar to that of Hawaii. the locals view themselves as Americans, though i'm afraid they receive a sad view of our values from their limited look into the mainland- television.

though the local people look so foreign to me, to talk with them they don't seem so different. i'm looking forward to getting to know them better. i do know that there is an evident sense of community everywhere, which i like very much.

so Dad and i went to the laundromat last night, and you may be surprised to find that i actually enjoyed it quite a bit! yes, it was hot, but the smell of a grill stand located right outside the mat filled the breeze, there was a lovely view of the sky through the windows, and besides, quality time with those you love is always enjoyable.

last night as i was waiting on laundry to wash i was reading over some notes taken from Bill Gothard's Basic Seminar and was both encouraged and challenged:

FOUR REQUIRED ATTITUDES:

1. A Reverent Spirit

Definition: Knowing God works through authorities.

Key: Separate position from personality.

Examples: Paul, Esther, Mary, David, Christ (Heb 5:8)

2. A Grateful Spirit

Unhappiness is a public rebuke.

Key: Give expectations to God (Psalm 62:5)

Example: Sarah (more attractive than outward beauty)

3. A Servant's Spirit

Definition: God's way to greatness

Key: Be excited to make others successful

Example: Joseph

Submission is freedom under God's protection

The Alternative: Exploitation

4. A Quiet Spirit

Definition: Overcoming fear and worry

Key: Defining responsibilities and seeing ultimate value in failure

Example: Pilate's wife (she appealed to him)

good nuggets of truth there. the one that stood out to me the most was giving my expectations over to God. how easy it is to become discontent, especially when you've thought up some idea of the way things should be. but when we give our expectations to the Lord, that eliminates disappointment and replaces it with gratefulness. that's what being poor in spirit is all about ("...and theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven"-Matt 5:3).

my brother and i at the beach!

-abby

i made it!

2008-07-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

well friends, i've made it. i'm finally in Guam! thanks for all your prayers, encouragement, and support.

Guam is a lovely island, though i've yet to see much of it. the sky is so blue and full of big white fluffly (or fluppy, if you're my nephew) clouds that float incredibly low. i got a glimpse of the seas as Dad was giving me a brief tour around.

i've never seen car windows so tinted before. everyone looks shady, but Mom assured me that it's quite a necessity around here because the sun is so bright.

here's a look at the house that we currently live in (thanks to the Lord's provision). this house is made of cement and has metal shutters on the windows to help protect against storms and typhoons. also, underneath the awning area is a sink and sort of kitchen area. i guess it's common around here for family's to take some of their meals outside. pretty neat!

it's certainly a nice change from where my family was first living when they arrived, though they were thankful for that too (pictured below).

i look forward to giving you more of an update on all that we're doing soon!

until then :)

-abby